These sick government billboards are posted all over the place in my area of Southeastern Michigan. The message is, "Don’t Serve Alcohol to Teens. It’s unsafe. It’s illegal. It’s irresponsible." We Don't Serve Teens is a national campaign on the part of the Federal Trade Commission.

So 18-year-olds and 19-year-olds (and even 20-year-olds) are teens, correct? According to this government campaign they are. But what about this government campaign known as Selective Service? According to the Imperial Branch of government, teens are "men." Under the "Who must register?" guidelines, everywhere it mentions those who must register, they are referred to as "men." Disabled men. Hospitalized men. Men who would be classified as Conscientious Objectors. Men, men, men, men, men. Men from 18 to 25 years of age. An 18-year-old is a teen if he drinks a beer, and he is a man if he puts on the conqueror's camouflage and learns to kill for the state.

And it's apparently not irresponsible or unsafe to yank these same teens men from their homes against their will (draft anyone?) and send them off to foreign lands to conquer, be conquered, and kill the enemies of the United Imperial States.

It's irresponsible to give those same men teens a Budweiser, however.