1) Football season is here! FOX NFL Sunday, Inside the NFL, and the Miami Dolphins winning the Super Bowl. You heard it here first.

2) Hockey season is in gear! The Red Wings are on the ice, and exhibition games start soon. I do love football and hockey, and I do look forward to this time of year because of it.

3) Nutrageous candy bars are great. I have two or three a year. Shame.

4) Have you seen the movies Joy Ride and Phone Booth? Both are really worthy thrillers.

5) Why do porky women wear mega-tight crop tops?

6) I'll be publishing an upcoming column on "exhibitionism," criticizing it of course. It's bound to make alot of peole angry, because it goes against the modern, pro-libertine, hedonistic thinking nowadays.

7) In completely, non-empirical terms - of course - who are the world's worst drivers? Twentysomething chicks, especially those in small cars. Why is it that they are so confident they can fit their stinkin' Neon in a space of 10 or 12 ft., behind someone else and in front of my 20-ft. long, 4-wheel drive, monster bus, doing 75mph in the left lane? Are they aware of the laws of physics - hmmm?